Why Obedience Isn’t the Goal: Shifting Toward Welfare-First Dog Training
And it’s not just outdated—it’s harmful. When we become obsessed with molding dogs into perfect little soldiers, we strip away their dogness. We ignore their natural instincts, silence their communication, and call it “success.” Quite frankly, it’s disturbing how fixated humans have become on manipulating dogs to fit an arbitrary mold of what society says a “good dog” should be. A dog who is seen but not heard. A dog who immediately complies to our requests without question. A dog who is not allowed to be a dog nearly as much as they should be.
Barking, pulling, jumping, digging, chasing critters, even counter surfing—these aren’t “bad” behaviors. They’re natural behaviors and they're communication. They’re your dog’s way of saying, something in my life is out of balance, or my needs aren't being met. But instead of listening and asking deeper questions, the obedience model tells us to shut it down. Sit. Stay. Be quiet. Be less. That doesn’t serve the dog—it serves our egos and the illusion of control.
If we want to take our dogs to busy street festivals, using sit, down, stay might feel like a good way to control them. But ask yourself—what is it you actually want from your dog in that moment? Most people will say they really want their dog to be calm and easy-going. Obedience behaviors don’t teach a dog how to cope with the environment; in fact, they can sometimes make it harder by suppressing natural coping strategies.
Instead, focus on gradual, supportive, and positive exposure to the sights, sounds, and experiences you want your dog to feel comfortable with. Prioritize two-way communication: read your dog’s signals, identify their needs, and respond appropriately—like moving farther away if something is making them nervous.
A dog who feels safe, understood, and supported is a dog who can remain calm, cool, and collected—without us micromanaging their every move through obedience cues. And importantly, we also need to acknowledge when our wants conflict with our dog’s needs and individuality. The truth is, not every dog can—or should—handle a busy event like this, and that’s okay.
This is why obedience misses the mark for most dogs. Training can act like a band-aid—suppressing behavior without addressing the root cause. Even worse, it masks valuable communication and natural behaviors. In animal welfare science, diversity of natural behavior and opportunities to express them are a key marker of welfare. A dog who feels safe enough to be a dog and express themselves is a dog who is thriving. When we overuse trained cues to control every moment, we limit that behavioral diversity and communication.
Does this mean training has no place? Of course not. Certain skills—like coming when called or walking calmly at our side in a crowd—can be essential for safety in our human world. But we need to be far more mindful about what we’re teaching, why we’re teaching it, and how often we rely on those cues. When overused, obedience behaviors can easily overshadow or even compromise a dog’s welfare.
Training should always come second to welfare. Meeting needs, building a genuine two-way relationship, and supporting natural behavior aren’t “extras” to add in later—they are the foundation. When we focus on those first, we often find that very little formal training is even necessary.
If we want truly cooperative dogs, we need to give more than we take. More freedom. More choice. More respect. That’s what creates a real partnership—not a rigid list of commands. For example, If we want our dogs to reliably recall off-leash, we need to first make sure that they are getting plenty of autonomous off-leash time in safe locations. Their "dog time" should greatly outweigh the times that we do need more control. A dog who is desperate for that freedom is much less likely to stick around and listen to our constant recall cues (to them, it's fun policing). When their needs are met first and foremost, they will be much more likely to cooperate when we do need something from them. Don't forget to pay them handsomely for their cooperation!
The industry is shifting, slowly. More trainers and pet parents are embracing welfare-first approaches. But let’s be honest: obedience still sells. It’s flashy, it’s marketable, and it feeds the illusion of control. It’s time we stop buying into it.
Pet owners and professionals alike need to start questioning the status quo. Instead of asking, “Is my dog obedient?” we should be asking, “Is my dog happy, healthy, and understood?”
Because at the end of the day, a “good dog” isn’t one who looks perfect on cue—it’s one who feels safe, seen, and loved for who they truly are.
What You Can Do Instead
If you’re ready to push back against the obedience-first narrative, here are a few simple ways to start:
Meet your dog’s needs first. Not sure what that looks like? I dive into it in my post “Meeting Your Dog’s Needs.”
Focus on your relationship. Obedience doesn’t create trust—secure attachment does. (Read more in “Relationship Work and Secure Attachment.”)
Redefine “success.” Stop measuring your dog by how aesthetically obedient they can be. Start measuring by how safe, relaxed, supported, and fulfilled they feel!
The obedience model has had its run. Now it’s time for something better—dogs who are understood and valued for who they are, not silenced.
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